Grammar Shrammar

In my free time, I teach English to an adult from Ghana. She is in her 40s and speaks very little English. Actually, she knows more English than she thinks she does, but she lacks the confidence to fully understand that her English is AWESOME. Who can blame her, right? English is confusing as hell.

As such, I have learned that it is best not to explain grammar to her. The minute I attempt to justify "why" we do certain things in the English language, her eyes glaze over. Things aren't much better for me because I usually don't know how to explain rules in the first place. I usually end up saying, "I know it doesn't make sense. I don't even understand it. Saying _________ instead of ________ just sounds better."

I am a native English speaker. I have an undergraduate degree in English Language and Literature. I have a graduate degree in Library and Information Studies. I am an avid reader. And I am still confused as hell when it comes to grammar. I don't even remember learning grammar in elementary, middle or high school.

I took a course on grammar and linguistics while pursuing my undergraduate degree and it confused me even more. Our professor made fun of the "fallacy of the institution of English grammar." There are two types of English: standard and non-standard. That's it. That's to say, if it isn't standard, globally accepted "correct" grammar, it's not "incorrect" grammar, it's just non-standard English. Ebonics, slang, hillbilly . . . those are dialects, not "incorrect" English. Do not play the better or worse, smarter or dumber game when it comes to standard vs non-standard English. You will lose. These are constructs. I wouldn't go as far as to say they are meaningless, but I believe they mean a lot less than what some people think.

I am a believer that if you can understand what someone is saying or writing, it's fair game. Know your audience. If you're writing in a professional or educational setting, you may have to tidy it up a bit. There isn't ONE book of grammar. As someone who has studied this stuff, I have a liberal attitude towards it. Many in academia cannot agree on certain rules (I have had papers graded by some of these people), so why should I beat myself up over this stuff?

Aside from the obvious grammatical mistakes and oversights such as "it's vs its", "there vs their", etc., I propose the following: WHO CARES?

My student from Ghana would much rather learn how to write a letter to her child's teacher, or learn how to take and pass the U.S. citizenship exam, than worry about WHY we have certain made up grammatical rules.

For your reading/viewing pleasure, I offer you more on this topic:

Grammar Girl: Top Ten Grammar Myths
Redefining The Dictionary

Remembrance

There are days when I am sure that I've dreamt of my mother the night before.

Sometimes I can't remember those dreams, but I know that I wake up feeling different . . .

Closer to the Source, closer to my Mother, closer to Myself.

Strong, positive, female.

As I make important choices and decisions,

As the Outside makes their wishes and desires of me known,

I remember that the only timeline that I must adhere to is my own and God's - which is essentially the same thing.

Everything is connected within and throughout.

There is no right or wrong.

There are lessons and there is Love.

I remember so that I don’t forget.

Thanking an Iraqi Vet

When someone tells me that they serve/d our country, I find myself saying “thank you.” I don’t know what else to say.

A man in my accounting class mentioned that he served in Iraq for about a year. I thanked him.

Seeming uncomfortable, he shrugged it off. “Don’t thank me,” he responded.  

“Why not?” I asked him, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“It was really a waste of time. Your tax dollars are paying for the war and now my education, but I didn’t do anything. We didn't do anything. We weren’t there because of terrorists. We went to war for something else.”

“For what?” I questioned, but I already knew the answer.

He didn’t respond.

“For oil,” I said quietly.

He nodded and said, “Yes.”