Grammar Shrammar

In my free time, I teach English to an adult from Ghana. She is in her 40s and speaks very little English. Actually, she knows more English than she thinks she does, but she lacks the confidence to fully understand that her English is AWESOME. Who can blame her, right? English is confusing as hell.

As such, I have learned that it is best not to explain grammar to her. The minute I attempt to justify "why" we do certain things in the English language, her eyes glaze over. Things aren't much better for me because I usually don't know how to explain rules in the first place. I usually end up saying, "I know it doesn't make sense. I don't even understand it. Saying _________ instead of ________ just sounds better."

I am a native English speaker. I have an undergraduate degree in English Language and Literature. I have a graduate degree in Library and Information Studies. I am an avid reader. And I am still confused as hell when it comes to grammar. I don't even remember learning grammar in elementary, middle or high school.

I took a course on grammar and linguistics while pursuing my undergraduate degree and it confused me even more. Our professor made fun of the "fallacy of the institution of English grammar." There are two types of English: standard and non-standard. That's it. That's to say, if it isn't standard, globally accepted "correct" grammar, it's not "incorrect" grammar, it's just non-standard English. Ebonics, slang, hillbilly . . . those are dialects, not "incorrect" English. Do not play the better or worse, smarter or dumber game when it comes to standard vs non-standard English. You will lose. These are constructs. I wouldn't go as far as to say they are meaningless, but I believe they mean a lot less than what some people think.

I am a believer that if you can understand what someone is saying or writing, it's fair game. Know your audience. If you're writing in a professional or educational setting, you may have to tidy it up a bit. There isn't ONE book of grammar. As someone who has studied this stuff, I have a liberal attitude towards it. Many in academia cannot agree on certain rules (I have had papers graded by some of these people), so why should I beat myself up over this stuff?

Aside from the obvious grammatical mistakes and oversights such as "it's vs its", "there vs their", etc., I propose the following: WHO CARES?

My student from Ghana would much rather learn how to write a letter to her child's teacher, or learn how to take and pass the U.S. citizenship exam, than worry about WHY we have certain made up grammatical rules.

For your reading/viewing pleasure, I offer you more on this topic:

Grammar Girl: Top Ten Grammar Myths
Redefining The Dictionary

Freedom of Expression

I am aware that some people may not like the things that I write about. 


Even videos/links that I share on Facebook seem to cause controversy. I find myself censoring myself even though this is MY blog. 


What in the hell is that about?


Life is hard. I've had a shitty year. I am re-learning life in a lot of ways. I'm re-evaluating things. I may make you feel uncomfortable, awkward and upset. Please know that those reactions are not my intention. 


You see, I am inherently a pretty sensitive and aware person. Sure, I am strong-willed, but I am respectful. I am always trying to make people feel comfortable and secure. I could write about my childhood and perform a psychoanalysis on the reasonings behind the way I am, but that isn't important here and now. 


It's all about honesty and expression. I don't think people listen to me sometimes. I feel like I cannot express how I feel without being talked over, misinterpreted or without some people bizarrely making it about them. (For those interested, read about active listening. It's pretty amazing.)


By blogging about my feelings, I hope to shed some light, encourage thought and express myself.


When I started this blog, I wanted to write about writing. It has evolved to posts about a lot of different things (jobs, life, grieving) and I am okay with that.  


I cannot promise that I will not write about my anger and frustrations. I cannot promise that I will not offend. I cannot promise that everything will be picture perfect. Hell, I cannot even promise perfect grammar. 


This is what I can promise:

• Truth
• Mistakes
• A showing of my proverbial warts
• Raw emotions
• Introspection
• Retrospection
• Mostly positivity 
• A little negativity
• Humor
• Sadness
• Growth
• Healing
• A business launch! (Whoo hoo!) 

So, please, stick with me! The best is yet to come . . . 

Oh, and for God's sake, start your own blog or YouTube channel if you want to express yourself and get your stuff out there. In today's day and age, it's really the best way to do it!

Dream Workspaces

Callan and I share our loft in our one-bedroom apartment as my office space and his music space, but it doesn't seem to be working for either of us. Writers and musicians need a calm and comfortable space to go to that special place of creation. Since I will likely be doing a lot of work from home for my business, our space needs to be organized and efficient, but who am I kidding? I also like nice spaces. I'm an extremely aesthetically sensitive person. Always have been and probably always will be. That being said, here are some of my dream workspaces:

Simple, clean and elegant!

A little piece of heaven.

Organized and bright.

This one is actually a little too busy for my tastes, but I like the idea of bringing nature inside.

Sigh. One day, right? These photos motivate me to keep working hard. 

A New Start

I’ve had an obviously difficult holiday season, but it has been okay thanks to my amazing family, boyfriend and friends. I am re-adjusting and trying to keep from going insane. A little insanity is okay, I suppose. I am just trying to keep it together somewhat.  I miss my mother deeply and cherish how lucky I was to know her. I continue to be inspired by her everyday. We were very close and although we had our ups and downs, I can say, without a doubt, that we will always stand by one another in love. Even death cannot undo that blessing.

For better or worse, no one can replace your mother. I can never expect anyone to know or love me as deeply and unconditionally as my mother did. She showed such genuine care and even if she didn’t always understand me, she always understood. She tried her best and always did what she believed was right for her children. I believe that she did so until the very end. She wasn’t perfect, but no one is and that is okay.

I struggle with trying to please others. Lord knows that I do not let anyone walk all over me, but I find myself trying to make those around me happy, even if it compromises my own needs. Although I’d like to believe that I truly don’t care what others think about me, I do sometimes. At my core, I just want to be understood and respected. Of course, I want some people to like me, but I’d be a fool if I expected everyone to like me. There are some people who will never like me and there are some people that I will never like. That’s okay. All I can do is be a good person and live my life in such a way that brings me happiness and peace. 

I look forward to this coming year. I am looking forward to finally starting my own successful business. I will go public with it very soon. I am following my dreams and passions. My eyes are opened and life is too short. Stay tuned.

In 2012, I hope to continue healing and growing. I hope to nurture relationships. I hope to say goodbye to anxiety, unhealthy habits and negative thoughts. I hope for prosperity. I hope for good health. I hope for clarity and acceptance. I hope to continue to love and be loved. I hope to write, write, write! 

Oh yeah, and I hope to lose 10 pounds, too. But not if I can’t eat everything that I want to eat. 

Editor’s Note: I know that the previous sentence is a sentence fragment. I don’t care. This is informal writing. When I write a research paper or business document, I write accordingly.

I also look forward to not taking myself too seriously. 

I wish you all warmth and all of the very best things that life has to offer in the New Year and always!

Namaste, indeed!

What is Old is New Again

Today I am re-visiting an article that I wrote in March of 2008 during the Democratic Presidential Primary race. Please read it here.

Since this article was written, not only did Barack Obama defeat Hillary Clinton in the primaries, he also became President of the United States. I am going to write a follow-up that will describe what I think about the racial undertones (or overtones) that have shaded his presidency.  I'm curious to hear what you all think about race and whether or not President Obama is the victim of racism or racialism. Please share your thoughts in the comments section of this post!

A few years ago, I received an e-mail stating that this article was being studied in a class about post-racialism. I was excited that my writing could contribute to a fascinating discussion, as nothing thrills me more than when people "get" something out of my writing.

In other news, I'm still working on my blog post about employment after my first year of college. It was such a hard time for me and it's even hard for me to sit down to write about it. I hope to have it up in the next couple of days.

Have a great day!

Ghosts of Jobs Past: The College Years

I had wonderful job experiences during my college years. So wonderful, in fact, that I barely planned what kind career I’d have once I graduated. I assumed it would work itself out. During college, I was too busy trying to keep my head afloat with school and personal matters. I graduated with an English degree and career options were never discussed in any course. I was clueless.

Now, let’s go back to 2002 when I entered my freshman year at Drexel University . . .

Adrienne as Work/Study Student

Upon moving to Philadelphia to study music business at Drexel University, I decided that I needed a part-time job. I liked making money and, after my lucrative summer job, I couldn’t imagine not having an income. I qualified for work/study, so I got a job monitoring the practice rooms in the music department.  

I soon grew restless and a friend of mine suggested that I work at the library with her as a circulation assistant. I loved this job and a career in librarianship was suggested by my supervisor. I politely declined and thought it sounded like the most boring career ever. I was too busy trying to become a rock star, or, at the very least, manager of a rock band and girlfriend of a rock star. I had no time for libraries. 

Ironic, I know. Who could have known that years later I would go to library school.

Adrienne as Lawyer’s Assistant

I left Drexel after my freshman year because I wasn’t happy there and, for me, it was not worth $38,000 (!!!!) per year. I transferred to a community college for a semester while I tried to figure out my next move. I applied to NYU and auditioned for their music business school, but I didn’t get in. If I was smarter, I would have applied to their English department, but I had vague notions of still being involved in the entertainment field. At this point, I wanted to become an entertainment lawyer. 

After I didn’t get into NYU, I decided that I’d study English at the University of Maryland. Around that time, I also landed a job as an assistant to a lawyer. I worker with the lawyer for about two or three years. I was good at my job and I really liked my boss. I learned a lot about the legal profession - mainly that I didn’t want to become a lawyer.

I also took care of her dogs. She had two pugs, Mugsy and Buddah, and a cute little white mutt named Gizmo. One day I witnessed a sexual act between the two pugs that resulted in puppies a few months later. It was the most traumatizing/cute thing I’d ever witnessed in my life. Well, the resulting puppies were cute, not the dog sex.

Adrienne as Babysitter

My best friend loves all babies and children. I like babies and children, but not all of them. Actually, I like SOME babies and children. No, more accurately, I like A FEW babies and children. (These include my nieces, nephews, cousins and other random children I’ve encountered.)

Anyway, one day I met my friend for coffee and she brought along two adorable little girls. They had great personalities and were well-behaved. They let us chat about life and boys while listening patiently. The girls told me that their mom had written a book and dedicated it to them. I thought that was super cool. They were pleasant and fun. 

A few weeks later, my friend told me that they needed a babysitter during the week. I liked the girls and the pay was decent, so I thought I’d give it a try.  It was worth the half hour drive from my apartment. I ended up babysitting for them, off and on, for four or five years. 

I learned a lot during this time. I bonded with them and began to think differently about becoming a parent one day.  I began to think of my own childhood as well. I babysat for a few other kids in their neighborhood, but I never quite enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed babysitting my two little buddies.

Side note: Taking care of kids is EXHAUSTING. It’s far more tiring than sitting in front of a computer all day. Much respect to caregivers and stay-at-home moms!

I don’t think I was the best babysitter because I’m not that great at discipline and I’m a bit of a pushover. My saving grace, and favorite part of the job, is that I have a vivid imagination and can relate to kids. I enjoy being silly and creative. This experience meant a lot more to me personally than professionally.

Their mother is a writer and has given me great advice about my writing career and other professional decisions. She felt maternal towards me and worried about my plans (or lack thereof) at times. I could sense that she knew how scary post-college life could be and tried to warn me.

Boy, was she right. 

Up next: The First Year After College

The Destination

Writing online content with the goal of earning money is very fickle.

I have researched search engine optimization (SEO) techniques for Google and implemented it on the sites I write for, but Google keeps changing their algorithms. I'd argue that Google updating and changing their algorithms is a good thing because it allows users to retrieve relevant and quality content faster, but it makes things a little difficult for content writers and website designers who base their income on SEO.

According to this article, in order to optimize Google rankings, content creators and website designers must focus on the following:

• Design for Engagement and User Experience
• Spelling and Grammar are Important
• Focus on Content Quality
• Avoid Too Many Ads
• Avoid Duplicate Content
• Less is More
• Ensure High-Quality Code

Excellent advice for all who create and re-design websites for SEO. However, I write for sites that have their own design and other aspects of their site that I cannot control. Thus, when Google changes their algorithms, I just have to cross my fingers.

Well, last month, this affected me a lot. My income went down 75% on the sites I write for. It happened previously in the summer of 2010. I do not depend on the money I make from web content writing as much as other people, but it's enough to make me second guess whether or not this is a reliable income at all. I question whether it's even worth the time to write for other sites anymore. I will continue to do so when it moves me, but I think my efforts are better spent elsewhere.

I enjoy blogging and will continue to blog about my writing adventures frequently. Where and when I choose to publish articles online is still up in the air. 

Right now I am focusing my efforts on looking for salaried employment whether it be in the field of writing, education or some other promising prospect. I'm becoming quite restless without a job and a steady income.

I will continue to do what makes me happy and conduct my affairs, personally and professionally, in the same way. 

I haven't forgotten about the importance of the journey and the destination.

"Everyday is a winding road,

I get a little bit closer.

Everyday is a faded sign,

I get a little bit closer to feeling fine . . ."

- Sheryl Crow

Under the Weather

I just ordered The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. 

That in itself is pretty unremarkable and probably doesn't warrant it's own post, but I am posting about it anyway. My brother Chris told me about this book and recommended it a while ago. He says it has been extremely influential and life-changing.

I'm feeling pretty crappy today. Throat is sore and I feel very weak and achey. Whenever I feel like this, which happens a few times a year and usually during a season change, I load up on the vitamin C, meds and relaxation for a day. That's what I'm doing right now.

But should I be writing anyway? The answer to a question is usually in the question, and the answer is that I know that I should be writing. I guess that's what I'm doing now, isn't it?

Anyway, if I'm talking the talk, I also gotta walk the walk. If I'm saying I'm a writer and this is my passion and blahblahblahwhateverblahblahblah, then I must OWN IT! I'm gonna WORK it. I'm going to get out there and strut my stuff like it's my damn job. Hallelujah!

Okay, sorry about that. Got a little carried away. Stick with me . . .

My revelation about walking the walk goes back to me ordering The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. 

I just read a review on Amazon that says the following about the book:

"Habit 1 discusses the importance of being proactive. Covey states that we are responsible for our own lives; therefore, we possess the initiative to make things happen. He also points out that proactive people should (sic) not blame various circumstances for their behaviors but they realize behavior comes from one's conscious. (?) Covey also explains that the other type of person is reactive. Reactive people are affected by their social as well as physical surroundings. This means that if the weather is bad, then it affects their behavior such as their attitude and performance."

I find myself being reactive a lot lately. I know that I'm going through a tough time and have been for the past year, but there is no excuse anymore. I'm tired of being reactive. I used to pride myself in my proactivity and I realize that I've slipped up a bit. I'm going to work on it. I'm going to take control of myself and my future again.

If you know me at all, you know that one of my favorite mantras is the following: You cannot control everything that happens to you, but you CAN control your actions and reactions. 

I am excited to read this book and get some serious motivation. Good self-help books are like brain food. It's always good to add another good, nutritious meal to your repertoire.

On a related note, I just re-watched Bill Cunningham New York on Netflix with Callan. If you want motivation for any passion, see that documentary. Simply amazing.

Writer/Whatever

Even bestselling authors have a side job.

Some, like showcased in the link above, open up cute little antique boutiques. Some decide to teach English or become professors. Some, like Harper Lee, publish one masterpiece and then stop writing. 

What does this have to do with me, you ask?

Well, let's just put it out there, I am not choosing to write for the money. That's stupid. Who would WANT this lifestyle by choice? I feel like as hard and lofty as my goals may seem, I have no choice. I know what I love and what makes me happy. There is no choice about what I am going to do . . .there's just the choice in HOW I am going to do it.

I need a steady income; I have rent and bills to pay. I haven't had a full-time job since August. After my mom passed away, I decided to give myself some much needed time and did so by walking away from an epically shitty and demanding job (buy me a drink and I'll tell you all about it) that I should have left a long time ago. I took this break with the vague notion that eventually I'd have to "get back on the horse" and find another job, hopefully less shitty on the shitty job spectrum.

I've always had my foot in the door of web content writing. I've published articles off and on since early 2008, but I've never made enough money in one month to even cover filling my gas tank. Sad, but true. I knew that I'd have to find a job to supplement my income while I worked on writing. The problem remains, what kind of job? 

I know the baseline income I need to make each month. I know that sitting in front of a computer in an office is not something I enjoy or am particularly good at. I know that I love working with people and helping others. I know that I like autonomy and responsibility. I love working in a positive work environment with people that feel like family.

I get a little touchy when people question my plans and ask me about money. It isn't like I am clueless and naive. I've done my research (I'm a trained librarian . . .) and I know this road is not easy. As I've said before, I really have no choice.

Right now I am continuing to focus efforts on writing and getting my name out there. I am also focused on finding a part-time or full-time position that can supplement and support my writing. I'd love to teach adults, but right now is not the time for me to go back to school for another degree. 

Whatever happens, I can go to sleep at night knowing that I've tried my best. Just because I am not able to make a living by my pen at present does not mean that I will never make a living by my pen. It just means that I need to revise a little.

I leave you with an inspirational quote from my mom: "Fake it 'til you make it, girlfriend." 

A "Good" Writer

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work." - Stephen King

I'm a writer, but what does being a writer mean?

1. Does it mean being grammatically correct at all times?
2. Does it mean being an awesome speller?
3. Does it mean being able to expertly edit your own stuff?
4. Does it mean that you can simply convey meaning through the written word?
5. Does it mean being published?
6. More specifically, does it mean being published in print and not just online?

I have been told that I am a good writer. I know that I enjoy writing and that it has always been a hobby and passion. I enjoy creative writing. I enjoy being informative. I'm a storyteller. I'm a communicator.

Although I am an avid reader, I know that my grammar isn't perfect and that I struggle with spelling (spellcheck is a blessing and a curse). I also know that the more I write, the better I become. I have fallen out of touch with serious writing for years, but I'm writing more these days and honing my skills. I know I can get better.

If you are unable to communicate using the written word, then you may not be a good writer. If you have nothing to say, then you're not a good writer.

Editing can make good content into great content, but editing cannot make bad content into great content. Sometimes, though, editing can make great content into not-so great content.

Here are my very humble answers to the above questions:

1. No.
2. No.
3. No.
4. Yes and no.
5. Yes and no. 
6. No. (Wishful thinking?)

Steve Martin explains it best with the following quote:

"The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer. And the joy of writing, when you're writing from your subconscious, is beautiful – it's thrilling. When you're editing, which is your conscious mind, it's like torture."

I don't think editing my own work is complete torture, but I dislike it. I am never completely finished editing. I'm impatient and far from a perfectionist which I think helps me a lot. As a productive and successful writer, I don't think that you can be a perfectionist or else you'd go mad. You'd never finish anything.

That being said, I'm publishing this at 5:47am after being up for several hours. I will read this once more before clicking "publish." I may read this again. It all depends on how I feel. 

Man, I need an editor.

Hope on a Sunday Evening

Sometimes I am filled with doubt.

I realize that it is not my job to worry about if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm a "good" writer - my job is to just write. I need to be prolific and I need not be ashamed. I have to market myself, network and WRITE.

I'm refining and refreshing my writing and editing skills. Editing is super important and forces me to work on patience. That means I take the time to print out articles and edit them on paper rather than just on my computer screen. (I have to admit, there is still nothing like print when it comes to catching mistakes and refining the flow of a piece.) That also means waiting a few days between "finishing" a piece and publishing it. Things definitely look different, for better or worse, after 72 hours.  I know that quality content is important. If my name is attached to ANYTHING, it has to be something I am proud of and feel good about.

Right now I am planning my strategy for the upcoming week. I have to query, post more articles and market my writing. The goals remain pretty much the same each week.

It's so tempting to zone out and watch TV or log on to Facebook when I'm supposed to be working. It's also easy to catch up with friends and family when I should be writing or looking for gigs. I am still trying to find balance and discipline in terms of my work schedule. Self-employment is super challenging, but rewarding. Not exactly rewarding in the monetary sense, as of yet, but I'll save that for another day.

So when doubt starts to creep in, I focus on improvement and I visualize success.  I grab the doubt with my hands and mold it into something that looks a lot like hope.

I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving. I certainly did and am totally feeling the Christmas spirit! Love to all!