Ghosts of Jobs Past: Graduate School Employment

Back in 2007, during my time as a creative marketing associate at the health publishing company, I interviewed for two librarian assistant positions. The first interview went very well, but the position went to someone with more experience. The second library assistant interview was a disaster. I was an hour late due to traffic (I-495), which caused me to be so nervous during the interview that I completely bombed. My confidence was shaken.

Perhaps I should have had a little more experience before I decided to go to library school. I also should have seriously considered if that was what I wanted to do. I did consider other graduate programs before I chose librarianship. I went to an informational session for a Master of Arts in Writing at Johns Hopkins University, but turned it down because I thought it didn’t guarantee a specific career path. I was sick of floating around. I wanted something concrete. I wanted a specialization.

Oh, I almost forgot, I also applied to NYU for a Masters in Publishing since I had experience in the field, but I was rejected. What an effing relief. I would have added at least $100,000 to my student loan debt!

I still wanted to be in NYC, so I applied to a graduate program in Library and Information Science at Queens College and got in. In the fall of 2009, I packed up my car and tried NYC once again. It ended up being a wonderful experience, but not for the reasons I imagined . . .

Adrienne as Administrative/Production Assistant

The first few weeks of graduate school were hard. I didn’t have an apartment when I started classes, so I drove back and forth from NYC to Maryland for one week. I ended up finding a wonderful subletting situation for two weeks until I got a more permanent apartment share in Queens, thanks to a connection through one of my good friends. Eventually I’d move to a cute apartment in Brooklyn and would live there for a year.

As soon as I moved to NYC, I searched and searched for a job. During my search, I was constantly more excited by non-library jobs. I knew that this was a sign that librarianship might not work out, but I didn’t want to give up. I couldn’t imagine dropping out of school, admitting that I didn’t want to be a librarian and going back to Maryland. No way. Not an option.

After a month with no job in sight, a classmate recommended a work/study position at our school. I went to the financial aid office and found a position in the Creative Services department. I never looked back.

I met my wonderful supervisor and mentor, Stephanie, who is the deputy director of Creative Services and has a flawless reputation amongst the staff and faculty on campus. She taught me so much about professionalism and running a busy department. She’s also just a really great person and someone I look up to immensely. She gives the best advice and continues to support me to this day.

On my first day, Stephanie introduced me to all the designers, editors and the department administrative specialist ("secretary"), Dottie, who was only two months from retiring and who was the glue that kept the department running. Everyone was sooooo New Yahwk (accents and attitudes) and so kind.

I assisted Dottie and Stephanie with administrative tasks, managing projects through the production process and running jobs to reprographics (the school’s printing press). It was easy work and I interacted with awesome people . . . couldn’t ask for more as a graduate student.

By winter break, I was promoted to a part-time staff member. That meant a 50% pay raise and benefits! I was excited. I would be filling in for Dottie for a few months, which was not an easy task. She was an expertly trained secretary who had been with the college for over 30 years. In fact, quite a few people who worked in Creative Services had been working there for the majority of their adult lives. Low turnover is a telltale sign of a good place to work.

I ended up working in Creative Services for my entire time in graduate school. I interviewed for a library internship during this time and then withdrew from it . . . another sign that I wasn’t serious about librarianship. I was balancing a part-time job that I absolutely needed, a long-distance relationship and a full course load. I just couldn’t imagine throwing in an internship that I wasn’t passionate about.

During this time, I also decided that I wanted to move back to Maryland to be with my boyfriend, family and friends after graduation. Home is where your heart is. I graduated a semester early and thank God that I did. Everything happens for a reason. I didn't know it at the time, but graduating early enabled me to be with my Mom for the last few months of her life. I will always be thankful for that.

Next Up: The “Dream” Job from Hell and Nothing Really Matters

Freedom of Expression

I am aware that some people may not like the things that I write about. 


Even videos/links that I share on Facebook seem to cause controversy. I find myself censoring myself even though this is MY blog. 


What in the hell is that about?


Life is hard. I've had a shitty year. I am re-learning life in a lot of ways. I'm re-evaluating things. I may make you feel uncomfortable, awkward and upset. Please know that those reactions are not my intention. 


You see, I am inherently a pretty sensitive and aware person. Sure, I am strong-willed, but I am respectful. I am always trying to make people feel comfortable and secure. I could write about my childhood and perform a psychoanalysis on the reasonings behind the way I am, but that isn't important here and now. 


It's all about honesty and expression. I don't think people listen to me sometimes. I feel like I cannot express how I feel without being talked over, misinterpreted or without some people bizarrely making it about them. (For those interested, read about active listening. It's pretty amazing.)


By blogging about my feelings, I hope to shed some light, encourage thought and express myself.


When I started this blog, I wanted to write about writing. It has evolved to posts about a lot of different things (jobs, life, grieving) and I am okay with that.  


I cannot promise that I will not write about my anger and frustrations. I cannot promise that I will not offend. I cannot promise that everything will be picture perfect. Hell, I cannot even promise perfect grammar. 


This is what I can promise:

• Truth
• Mistakes
• A showing of my proverbial warts
• Raw emotions
• Introspection
• Retrospection
• Mostly positivity 
• A little negativity
• Humor
• Sadness
• Growth
• Healing
• A business launch! (Whoo hoo!) 

So, please, stick with me! The best is yet to come . . . 

Oh, and for God's sake, start your own blog or YouTube channel if you want to express yourself and get your stuff out there. In today's day and age, it's really the best way to do it!

Gravitational Pull

Waning Gibbous Moon, July 16, 2011

“The moon will always be there,” I think as I am driving home from the hospital and gazing at the massive, waning moon. “An anchor for the world. The gravitational pull that keeps us together. How reassuring.”

Then it dawns on me that this isn’t true for eternity. One day this will not be because nothing is guaranteed and nothing is forever. Then I think of my mother in the hospital bed, fighting for her life.

My mother is now made of light.

The gravitational pull, the anchor for my world . . .

Ghosts of Jobs Past: 930 Club, Freelance Writing and Temporary/Part-time Work

Before I handed in my resignation letter at the health publishing company, I started working at 930 Club. I decided to work there because I still had vague aspirations of a career in the music industry, but mostly, I think I just wanted to experience life. The plan was to do freelance writing during the day and to work at 930 Club at night.  After experiencing the misery of my previous job, I wanted to be inspired . . .and to have fun, I guess. I simply wanted to feel alive. Little did I know, I’d be broke and the freelance writing gigs wouldn’t pan out as planned, but, all in all, I’d be insanely happier. I couldn’t imagine things going any other way.

Adrienne as Doorstapher, Box Office Assistant and Barista

I worked at 930 Club (also known as “the Club” or “930”), a popular music venue in Washington, DC, for a little over two years. I can describe what I loved about the place, but unless you’ve worked there, you really won’t get it. I can even try to paint this beautiful picture about how fulfilling and eye-opening this experience was, but you still won’t understand. I think the easiest approach is just telling you what I enjoyed most about my time there:

• I learned the meaning of hard work, long hours and feeling like what I did every night sort of mattered. 
• I worked with a group of people that I liked and respected. 
• I learned how to be tough. 
• I learned how to not really give a fuck about what other people think. I just did my job, just as as we all are just doing our job here on this earth. No one is better or more important than anyone else. 
• I met my boyfriend and learned how to experience true love. (I’m still learning about that every day.)

I started at 930 as security or, as it was called there, "doorstaph" (not a spelling mistake). Everyone has to start as a doorstapher, which adds to the familial feeling that exists there. I checked IDs, I cleaned, I took out the trash, I swept cigarettes off of the pavement and made sure patrons followed the rules. This position was okay for a little while, but I soon grew tired of late nights and babysitting drunken patrons. I wanted to try something new.

About 6 months after I started, I began working in the box office. About 6 months after that, I started working at the coffee bar. My favorite position at the Club was barista because it was the most autonomous and I could hear bands play every night. I also liked chatting with coworkers and patrons as I served them coffee. 

I worked with creative and talented people at 930. I figured out life there. I was exactly where I was supposed to be at 23. 

I said goodbye to this job when I moved to NYC for graduate school.

Adrienne as Freelance Writer

Freelance writing proved to be much harder than I anticipated. I wrote for a few online publications successfully. I sent queries to magazines, but I was never published. I suppose I could have tried harder to make a living as a freelance writer, but I did the best I could have done at the time. I'm proud of every cent that I've earned, but sadly, I could never even fill my gas tank once a month with the money I made writing. All of this leads me to the next section . . .

Adrienne as Temporary/Part-time Employee

From 2007 - 2009, I had the following part-time jobs:

• Office Assistant for Matthew Lesko (Yes, it’s true! I worked for the “Free Money” guy!)
• Gym instructor for children (Soooooo not the right fit for me!)
• Receptionist for an embroidering company (Mindless, but okay. Really loved the people that I worked with!)
• Temp for various companies via an employment company (Treated like an idiot, but a good way to make some fast cash to pay the bills.)
• Marketing/publishing intern for a small self-publisher (Not ideal.)

So, as you can see, I have had many professional experiences. Life with an English degree would have been easier if I had just decided to become a teacher, but I don’t prefer the easy way. Can you tell?

Adrienne as Daughter of Devonia Miles

I cannot write about all of these jobs and different work experiences without acknowledging my mother. Throughout this time, she supported me and she believed in me. She allowed me to live with her while I struggled financially with student loans, car payments, and insurance. She never made me feel like I was doing the wrong thing and she never pressured me to be anyone else. While I am sure she had her own opinions of my aspirations and dreams, she never pushed those opinions on me. She gave me the comfort and support that I needed while I figured things out. I believe she did the right thing because she never broke my spirit. 

People have judged me for living at home during this time, being too dependent on my parents and for not understanding the “real world” by just “getting a job” so I could be on my own. Despite all of the noise, I don’t regret a thing and I consider myself lucky. My parents were/are always there for me . . .unconditionally. No, my mother didn’t force me out of the house or suggest that I grow up, but she didn’t pay for all of my expenses or let me be irresponsible either. I always had a job and I was always striving for something.

For all who have had their opinions and questions, know this: I am extremely independent and I was raised to always make my own decisions. To that, I am eternally thankful. All of this has made it possible for me to walk away from situations that weren’t good for me personally and professionally. 

Yes, I am spoiled. I am spoiled with love and positivity. There are far worse character "flaws" to acquire! In fact, I probably have one or two of 'em.

I’ll live my life how I want and I wish for you to do the same. Life is hard enough without added pressure. Devonia Miles always understood that. Thanks, Mom!

Next up: Queens College and My Last Big Mistake 

Dream Workspaces

Callan and I share our loft in our one-bedroom apartment as my office space and his music space, but it doesn't seem to be working for either of us. Writers and musicians need a calm and comfortable space to go to that special place of creation. Since I will likely be doing a lot of work from home for my business, our space needs to be organized and efficient, but who am I kidding? I also like nice spaces. I'm an extremely aesthetically sensitive person. Always have been and probably always will be. That being said, here are some of my dream workspaces:

Simple, clean and elegant!

A little piece of heaven.

Organized and bright.

This one is actually a little too busy for my tastes, but I like the idea of bringing nature inside.

Sigh. One day, right? These photos motivate me to keep working hard. 

A New Start

I’ve had an obviously difficult holiday season, but it has been okay thanks to my amazing family, boyfriend and friends. I am re-adjusting and trying to keep from going insane. A little insanity is okay, I suppose. I am just trying to keep it together somewhat.  I miss my mother deeply and cherish how lucky I was to know her. I continue to be inspired by her everyday. We were very close and although we had our ups and downs, I can say, without a doubt, that we will always stand by one another in love. Even death cannot undo that blessing.

For better or worse, no one can replace your mother. I can never expect anyone to know or love me as deeply and unconditionally as my mother did. She showed such genuine care and even if she didn’t always understand me, she always understood. She tried her best and always did what she believed was right for her children. I believe that she did so until the very end. She wasn’t perfect, but no one is and that is okay.

I struggle with trying to please others. Lord knows that I do not let anyone walk all over me, but I find myself trying to make those around me happy, even if it compromises my own needs. Although I’d like to believe that I truly don’t care what others think about me, I do sometimes. At my core, I just want to be understood and respected. Of course, I want some people to like me, but I’d be a fool if I expected everyone to like me. There are some people who will never like me and there are some people that I will never like. That’s okay. All I can do is be a good person and live my life in such a way that brings me happiness and peace. 

I look forward to this coming year. I am looking forward to finally starting my own successful business. I will go public with it very soon. I am following my dreams and passions. My eyes are opened and life is too short. Stay tuned.

In 2012, I hope to continue healing and growing. I hope to nurture relationships. I hope to say goodbye to anxiety, unhealthy habits and negative thoughts. I hope for prosperity. I hope for good health. I hope for clarity and acceptance. I hope to continue to love and be loved. I hope to write, write, write! 

Oh yeah, and I hope to lose 10 pounds, too. But not if I can’t eat everything that I want to eat. 

Editor’s Note: I know that the previous sentence is a sentence fragment. I don’t care. This is informal writing. When I write a research paper or business document, I write accordingly.

I also look forward to not taking myself too seriously. 

I wish you all warmth and all of the very best things that life has to offer in the New Year and always!

Namaste, indeed!