When you've faced demons that used to haunt you and accepted your imperfections, what the hell do you have to write about?
I'm not saying I want to be unhappy or depressed, but I do want to be inspired or compelled.
Motherhood is amazing and there's so many new revelations I've had since becoming a parent, but do people REALLY want to read about that? Do I really want to read about that? (No.)
Yes, I know Grief uncomfortably well (an unwelcome friend that visits us all), but I don't want to write or read about that either.
I guess I have writer's block or something, but this has lasted for years. I used to have endless ideas and time. Now, I have neither. It's kind of depressing.
Am I still a writer?
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Late
We brought our daughter home 1 month later than we thought we would. Or rather, when I thought I would. My husband put no timeline on when she'd make an appearance. I was the impatient one.
I delivered our daughter 11 days after her estimated delivery date - a somewhat arbitrary date based on the first date of a woman's last period before pregnancy. Approximately 4% of births actually happen on that exact date.
After a long, complicated labor that ended in an emergency c-section, my little girl was admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (a scary place that no one warns you that a full-term baby may end up) due to a bacterial infection. She needed antibiotics and had to be monitored for two weeks. The doctor miscalculated her doses and we had to wait 1 extra day for her to come home. During our daughter's time in NICU, I couldn't wait to go to sleep every night because I knew I'd wake up being one day closer to bringing my baby home. This extra day seemed like an eternity.
"What's one more day?" was something we heard continuously.
Perspective.
Some people wait months before they can bring their child home. Some babies die in NICU. We were lucky.
Doctors don't apologize. A nurse sort of apologized. You can't go around expecting apologizes in life. If you do, you'll be really disappointed.
I'm glad I realize this now. Better to realize this late than never.
I delivered our daughter 11 days after her estimated delivery date - a somewhat arbitrary date based on the first date of a woman's last period before pregnancy. Approximately 4% of births actually happen on that exact date.
After a long, complicated labor that ended in an emergency c-section, my little girl was admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (a scary place that no one warns you that a full-term baby may end up) due to a bacterial infection. She needed antibiotics and had to be monitored for two weeks. The doctor miscalculated her doses and we had to wait 1 extra day for her to come home. During our daughter's time in NICU, I couldn't wait to go to sleep every night because I knew I'd wake up being one day closer to bringing my baby home. This extra day seemed like an eternity.
"What's one more day?" was something we heard continuously.
Perspective.
Some people wait months before they can bring their child home. Some babies die in NICU. We were lucky.
Doctors don't apologize. A nurse sort of apologized. You can't go around expecting apologizes in life. If you do, you'll be really disappointed.
I'm glad I realize this now. Better to realize this late than never.
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