I sit in my daughter's future room and
the amount of happiness that I have at the possibilities of
our future fills my heart.
Right now, however, the baby's “room”
is a mess. There's a transition happening. The room has been
my home office/craft/gift-wrapping/creative space for the past 2
years. It is underused and, honestly, the room's primary purpose has been to
conceal my clutter – random craft materials, electronics, mail, documents, records and old
bills. When I'm in this room, I look past my belongings and imagine the little girl who will spend her nights dreaming in this space.
I so treasured the mother/daughter time
I spent with my mom while she was alive. I honestly never thought
I'd experience it again. That's not to say I didn't think it was
possible, I just didn't think about the possibility of being in a mother/daughter relationship again in a tangible sense.
Motherhood, not to mention having a daughter, was not something I
dared to daydream about so freely. In no way do I want to put any expectations on an innocent little girl who is now only a pound and a
half inside my belly - the weight would be unfair - but the thought
of her and I just spending time together mends my heart in a way that is
inexplicable. It touches my core and makes my heart full.
Presently our daughter's room is in my
womb. It's safe in there and she's protected. Two hearts inside my body right now - a miracle that I don't dare take for granted.
This little girl has got a few more months to grow inside of her room. I've got a few more months to organize her room on the outside. We both have some more time to prepare for this
whole new world. The room will be ready.
